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Archive for September, 2006

Hell, if both the Saudis and the French say so, it has to be true. . . .

Got to love the news channels.  They stress the this report is “unconfirmed” , that not many governments believe this leaked report is real, and that many times before, there have been rumors of bin Laden’s death.  Yet, they come on every two minutes to tell us that he had died.  And in CNN’s case, to pimp their In the steps of bin Laden story that has already been replayed more than a teenage boy’s one porno tape.

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I admit, with head hung somewhat in embarrassment, that I like Dog The Bounty Hunter. Bad hair, big boobs, stuck in the 80’s fashions. . . hell, what’s not to like. Kind of a redneck version of COPS but with a moral. And set in Hawaii. I even killed an entire Thursday (at least the part after 5pm, I slept in) with a Dog The Bounty Hunter marathon. I will not, however, admit to this in any kind of public forum whatsoever. And I am about to give you the reason why you should watch, in or out of the closet. . . .

Dog, his son, and brother (from another mother) hopped into Mexico and captured a hemorrhoid of a human being that was on the run from American authorities. The trust fund bitch was on trial for the drugging and rapping of three women (I’ve heard reports that he was facing 80+ charges) when he split across the border. He was caught by Chapman living a rich boy’s life, possibly planning his next GHB conquest and most certainly planning some kind of revenge on those who testified against him. Dog did something that U.S. and Mexican authorities couldn’t do, make the rapist face his 124 year prison sentence.

The fact that the three are have been arrested a second time for this is nothing short of fucking ludicrous. These three men helped at least three women (possibly more) find justice and mist likely prevented the drugging/rapping of numerous more. The word “Hero” may be a bit strong but it’s an arguable adjective to describe them, at least for capturing Luster.

So I can forgive the bad hair and fashion and watch out of respect. Plus the shit just cracks me up.

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Bitch:

My back started being more disagreeable than normal and I needed to go see a doctor.  Tried to make an appointment with my regular doctor but since my last visit, he had moved to a town 20 miles away.  His receptionist refused to give me an appointment until she got his approval.  Knowing how slowly the gears can grind in a doctor’s office, I went ahead and made an appointment to the clinic where Regular Doc used to work.  By the time I got up for the appointment, Regular Doc’s office still hadn’t called so I went to the other appointment.  While sitting in the waiting room, I saw multiple signs with large print stating that, out of respect for other patients, please turn off all cell phones.  I sat in the examination room for 20 minutes, my only visitor being the nurse who took my vitals and information before I was led to the x-ray waiting area.  Probably just me but having x-rays ordered without ever seeing a doctor kind of ticked me off.  Anyway, while sitting in wait for the cute redheaded tech to take pics of my bones, I saw more, hard to miss signs preaching patient respect and anti-cell phone rhetoric.  A couple of doses of mild radiation later, I am sitting, again, in the examination room, waiting for the doctor to grace me with his presence.  After about a 15 minute wait, he finally showed and proceeded to show me the x-rays, what he thought was wrong, and what we could do about it.  Midway through his spiel, I hear the faint strains of what seems to be Toby Keith coming from Doc’s pocket.  He reaches in his pocket and, sure enough, I hear “Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue” emanating from a cell phone.  He looks at me, apologizes, and answers the fucking phone.  A least he respected me enough to have his conversation, all 10 minutes of it, out in the hall.  Maybe HE missed the signs.

Moan:

Was flipping channels and came across a news story recalling a bank robbery from a few years ago in California that resulted in a gun fight that put the shootout scene in the movie Heat to shame.  For some reason, watching that put me in the mood to watch a bank heist movie, other than Heat.  I have been wanting to see Inside Man for awhile since I missed it in the theaters.  It being post-2am my only choice was to buy it at Wal-Mart.  Got there, grabbed it along with Some Kind Of Wonderful (one of my favorite 80’s teen  movies), grabbed some munchies, and headed to the check out line.  I plopped my items at the register only to realize I had grabbed the full screen version.  Whoops, I went back to trade it out for the widescreen and couldn’t find it.  Nowhere.  They have the widescreen version of The Shaggy Dog, they even have dvd’s with BOTH versions of Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector, but not Inside Man.  Tim Allen and Git-R-Done get more props than Denzel and Spike Lee.  Fucking hate Wal-Mart.  Guess I’ll have to be media-influenced into buying movies at a more decent hour.

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for this public service announcement:

If you are going to use information you read on this blog in an argument, at least have the nerve to admit where you found the it.  Trying to smugly pass off that you found this nugget through your own sagacious investigating is insulting and sad.  It doesn’t take an acute, discerning intuition to find that bit of scuttlebutt.  It should have been obvious and is of your own creation.

We now return to whatever the fuck you were watching, all ready in progress. . . .

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