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Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Bang bang . . . .

Just finished watching Shoot ‘Em Up.  It didn’t suck but I think it was too ridiculous, too over-the-top.  The fact that the gaggle of under-21 boys that also watched loved it either drives home my point or proves that I’m just too old to get it.  Hollywood lies. Most hookers don’t look this hot.

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Watched Rob Zombie’s version of Halloween.  I am a little conflicted as to whether I liked it or not.  First of all, John Carpenter’s original Halloween is one of my all-time favorite horror movies.  It’s not that it scared me, it’s just good.  That simple. I n addition to that, I generally don’t like re-makes.  Occasionally you get an Ocean’s 11 that is as good or better than the original but for the most part, I can do without them because they generally suck.  I basically went into this movie with a closed mind so you can probably take this review with a grain of salt.  Guess I’ll just point out the goods v. the bads.

Bad:  My biggest complaint (and I knew this going in) is that I feel Zombie took what was the fundamental element to what made the original a good story.  In the 2007 version, Michael is a mentally unstable child who has suffered the wrath of an abusive, alcoholic step-father, an uncaring older sister, school bullies, and the white trash indignity provided by a stripper mom.  Michael is evil because of his environment which basically reduces him to your typical serial killer.  In Carpenter’s original, Michael was evil simply because he was evil.  Evil without an explanation is not only more scary, but more compelling.  Second, I felt the movie got bogged down in the first half with all the back story.  And last, keep the fucking camera still.  This isn’t Blair Witch Project or NYPD Blue.  I know it’s supposed to add a sense of realism, which worked in Blair Witch, but I don’t believe there was someone following Micheal around with a camcorder to document his day.  This is a big budget Hollywood movie, quit trying to give me a headache.

Good:  It wasn’t as gory as his usual stuff.  There were a lot of titties.

I think the bad wins out.  The audience I watched it with sucked and probably affected my judgment.  There is an old joke about watching a scary movie with a theater full of black people.  Well they proved that stereotype this night.  Maybe I’ll give it another watch on a less crowded night and reassess my opinion.  Think I’ll go back to my usual style of movie reviews, they seem to make a better point.  There’ll be no “Hottness” in this one.  In the original, all the hot high school girls actually looked like hot college girls.  Despite the fact that the girls in the new one are old enough to be hot college girls, they really look like hot high school girls.  I just cling to the hope that they all the characters were seniors so I don’t regret typing the titty comment.

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Movie time . . . .

Just finished watching Death Sentence.  In the beginning, it almost really didn’t suck.  But, thanks to going way over the top and the plot having so many holes that I almost had to break out the colander again, it ended with just slightly not sucking.  She has some definite MILF qualities, though.

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I am McLovin . . . .

I watched Superbad tonight.  Fucking hilarious.  Definitely a must-see, if you like the “last year of high school/must get laid” kind of movies.  Or even if you don’t.  No Hottness for this one.  All the girls appeared to be underage (though “legal” in real life) and while I may be a perv, I’m not that kind of perv.

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Just finished watching Rush Hour 3.  It didn’t suck, but just barely.  She’s very hot, at least until the wig removal.

Caught The Bourne Ultimatum.  It’s good.  If you liked the first two, you’ll like this one.  She is geekishly hot.

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Uh huh.  They should’ve thought more than twice.  I watched I Know Who Killed Me.  It does suck.  And not in the satisfying zip-up-when-finished-I-need-a-nap-afterward way.  The plot had more holes than this:

She’s still kinda hot though.

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I just finished previewing I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. It didn’t suck. This chick is hot. Think I see a trend developing here. So I’m not Ebert and Whoever . . . .

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